Three reasons why you struggle to create as a First-Generation-Born
Sometimes tapping into your creativity is really hard.
One…two…three weeks go by and your creative reserves start to feel bust. What do you do? Is it okay to stop and take a break?
The short answer is yes.
The long answer is, unbeknownst to many first-generation-born creatives, creativity is as much a skill as it is a lifestyle.
Creativity needs time, boredom and failure to flourish. Something you don’t get too much opportunity to explore as a child of an immigrant family.
The value of creativity in an immigrant household
Started from the bottom
Here’s the scenario - you’ve daydreamed for the longest time about creating a lifestyle business. Whether its offering a creative service or dropping the hottest product, you know you have something special to offer - but alas there’s something stopping you in your tracks.
A belief that creeps in every time.
Something along the lines of this is not for me. My parents raised me and my siblings to be responsible, its selfish to gamble my future away on pursuing a passion.
And because of this belief, you put your dreams on hold and pursue what you think will make you content.
Did you know our limiting beliefs have a direct influence on our practice?
Woah. Slow down. Do you mean to tell me, my creativity is linked to my beliefs?
Precisely.
Values are a foundation and a moral compass. Our decisions and actions flow from our principles, and our values help to define us; they are core to our identity.
And when you suppress your needs for a long period of time, like the need to express yourself creatively, we can start to fall out of alignment.
If you…
tend to be overly critical of your work
put off working because you feel others are better than you
never finish a project for fear of judgment
switch up what you’re doing once it gets hard or
find you are overly sensitive to criticism of your work
Then you may struggling to see your worth. And on account of this struggling to find a safe space to draw inspiration from and create.
I am no stranger to a critical upbringing as a first-generation-born and share my experience with you in the hopes that you can create from a safe place.
“The first step towards change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.
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You put your needs last.
Is creativity worth it?
A first-generation-born hates to burden their parents.
Some children may struggle quietly about a subject they are failing.
Others may take on the role of guardian for their younger siblings.
And as a result, first-generation-born are conditioned to put their needs last; the struggle of our immigrant parents willingly or unwillingly becomes the lens in which we view the world.
Putting yourself last can have lasting, negative effects on your confidence.
It may be the reason why you opted for a traditional career.
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When I reminisce on submitting my university course preferences, I recall panicking. This was the first time I had a say on my future.
I needed to approach this rationally. What would make my parents happy?
Something that made good money…
And that I had a high chance of getting into…
And was of some interest to me…
I chose to major in research.
Despite most of my free-time spent sketching, looking forward to art class and even taking private commissions outside school hours—I let myself down.
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When your circle of influence consists of mostly family it can take longer to come to your own. This may mean making big career decisions later in life that set you back years.
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My first motivation for change took place after my first part-time illustration contract.
At this point I was two and a half years into a research degree.
I recall my degree being a regular talking point amongst colleagues. I would often entertain comments like ‘when are you going to drop the science and switch to art’.
There was no way…
After a year of working there, it dawned on me that I could do it. If I already had my foot in the door, what was to stop more doors from opening.
Having people believe in me (outside of family), helped me consider a career in the arts.
By the end of the semester, I gave myself permission to follow through and apply for an animation degree in the city. It’s never too late to stand up for yourself.
““Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.” ”
You were shamed for talking back.
No time like the present to rebel
The immigration struggle is real.
Forced to uproot your life and adapt almost overnight.
I feel helpless when my parents narrate their’ trying experiences with immigration.
I think about family, and the pressure to deliver a better life for your children whilst holding on to any remnants of your previous life.
All alone in a new country, I imagine how the experience shapes you.
How tradition can become a source of comfort—
And by holding on to it you can get through it.
Upholding tradition with all its good and bad, becomes more important than the individual.
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In a healthy household, adolescence is a time of exploration. Emotions are welcome and under the guidance of a caring adult with patience we discover ourselves.
In an immigrant household, where generational trauma might be running undiagnosed, adolescence can be perceived as a threat. For example, a normal act like asserting oneself can be perceived as misbehaving.
The struggle of navigating adolescence alone, as well as a sudden antagonistic relationship with ones parents, can drive some children to close up.
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As a result, an adolescent that suppresses their emotions and refuses to act out can feel uncomfortable asserting oneself in adulthood.
Or in the case of your creativity, feel uncomfortable exploring new themes.
Rebellion has an important role to play in teenage development. It helps young adults develop an identity outside their parents influence.
And without this experience, affected adults may
rebel in ways that disrupt their life
develop low self-esteem
If you resonate with this, it might be time to show yourself a little kindness.
“I am invested in illustrating the possible.”
You have no support.
Becoming a pioneer
With all the new ways to generate an income online, it’s no surprise why our parents’ generation may struggle to grasp the viability of a creative career in the 21st century.
We’re pretty busy trying to figure it all out too.
Unfortunately, our parents’ lack of understanding can often come off as discouraging.
On this account, first-generation-born creatives tend to navigate the creative world alone. This means we are more open to common business pitfalls than the average networked entrepreneur. You may:
follow unrelated business advice
be more cautions with investing in yourself
take on free work to increase your self-worth
struggle to raise your prices
feel uncomfortable turning down paying red flag clients
avoid situations that lead to conflict
procrastinate on admin tasks
Until we gain enough perspective to see otherwise.
No wonder it’s exhausting.
Before you can even build a stable business, you are unlearning negative habits caused by low self-esteem.
Another hurdle first-generation-borns learn to overcome is turning down penny pinching entrepreneurs; folks with an aptitude for scope creep. They are usually in need of a creative but lack nuanced understanding of the various titles a creative can be - we are everything rolled into one. From the neighbourhood logo designer, to the superhero IT Consultant to the 24/7 operating social media manager.
It’s tough trying to communicate what you do, let alone what you don’t do.
These setbacks can compound to become an invisible monster that drains our energy.
In an ideal world, we would have access to mentors. But an unconventional career also means trekking across uncharted waters. So rather than feel dread, this may be an opportunity to pioneer change.
To be the mentor you needed as a high school student.
““The best path is the one that’s not there because we are in the process of creating it.””
